***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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