You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
