Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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