ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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