bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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