We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize