Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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