It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.