if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
