you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
two words...techno handjob
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
