I just pynch a tree in the face
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize