Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
