I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize
