He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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