Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Vodka?
Forever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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