did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
