So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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