That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
