You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
