I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
