were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
