tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize