dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think people are normalizing furries
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
