I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
