I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize