Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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