butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
