hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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