You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
did i just pee glitter
COCAINE IS GR8
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
