i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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