you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
