i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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