did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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