If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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