as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize