He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
