can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
