Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize