Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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