Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize