i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I smell like Dick and happiness
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