So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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