we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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