I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
