Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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