So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize