I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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