I feel like abortions should bother me more
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Floor bacon is actually really good
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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