So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
try to milk me bitch
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
