Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
high people should be assigned attendants
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
