I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
