I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
