You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't deserve a penis
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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