forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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