Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize