Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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