I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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