so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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