I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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