i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
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I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Rumble strips road head = magical
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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