i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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