I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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