ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
