I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
