brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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