my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
